Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The quest for 2009 Topps... or...

why Honda Civics shouldn't drive fast in the snow.

So about 6:30 this evening I had me a hankerin' for some cookies. So I decided to take a quick trip to Wal Mart despite the on coming bad weather. The street I live on (in the middle of the forest) was a bit tricky, but when I got to the highway I only encountered a few slick spots.

Pulled into the Wal Mart parking lot thinking "hey, while I'm here I might as well see if there's any '09 Topps." I head back for the cookie section, pick out something that looked yummy and headed for the front to look at the cards. There were a few blasters of '08 Topps and some Upper Deck, a few gravity feed boxes of Timelines and some Updates and Highlights. Poop. Nothing new.

So I found myself a register to set up camp while I waited for the unprepared people to pay for their $600 of groceries. Why is it that people can't prepare themselves well before the storm comes. Granted, I was there for cookies, but I've got enough food to last me a week if we get a blizzard... which isn't going to happen. Be prepared!

After standing in line for a good twenty minutes I got to the cashier, made some small talk about the weather, paid for my cookies and then 20oz Mountain Dew that somehow crept into my hand and left.

I was a bit depressed about not finding any Topps, but whatever, I've got my cookies, time to head home.

By this point it's snowing pretty good, but still nothing much sticking. Roads were fine, until I got to US441 to head home. There were a few slick spots, but nothing that my car can't handle. When I got about three miles from home I encounter a Honda Civic that's doing its absolute best to crash and kill all of its occupants.

I don't suffer from road rage, I just don't let people piss me off. I made the decision that I was going to get away from these kids in the Civic before they decided to do something stupid and crash into me.

That's where I made my mistake.

I've learned a few things in the year and a half that I've had my car. Police like to follow it and when you pass a group of kids in a Civic they automatically think you're racing.

That's where they made their mistake.

I passed safely and before I was more than ten feet away from them I hear the Civic's oversized exhaust go BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. As I was rolling my eyes I happened to look up at the rear view mirror and I saw tail lights. hmmmm... I shouldn't be seeing tail lights on the same side of the road that I'm on.

Yes, that's right. 16 year old kids in a Civic see an Impreza go past them and their testicles start to hurt so they have to proove how badass they are by spinning their car on some black ice and ending up in the median grass.

I sighed and made a U-turn to go back and make sure they were ok. They were scared out of their minds but otherwise fine. They got the car back on the road and puttered off towards wherever they were going.

I usually get a kick out of kids trying to race me, but this time they about fucked up and got themselves hurt. I hope they learned a lesson.

Even if I didn't get any new cards, at least I got a good story out of it and further proof that buying that car was one of the best decisions I've ever made. It goes where I tell it to go in the snow, my old Thunderbird only went sideways.


Jeffrey Wolfe said...

That was a cool story. WalMart is dragging their heels but I think every Target has the Topps now. But mine doesn't have Upper Deck yet.

Ben said...

Moral of the story... everyone should own a Subaru :).

The Wal Mart here never got A&G last year and it was close to December before they put out U&H. The closest Target is in Asheville, about 45 minutes away.

So I'll either have to wait until next time I have to go to Asheville, or look around for a reasonable price on a box.

MMayes said...

Sometimes you get 16 year old idiots....I was a 17 year old idiot driving my Jeep CJ-5 on ice one day off school, not trying to be cool or anything and, whoops. Into the ditch and on its side. Fortunately my buddy was a linebacker, so he just turned it back on its wheels and away we went.

But I still remember to be very careful.

Ben said...


I've managed to never have an accident in eleven years of driving around. But I've been stuck in a hole before. I managed to get the front right wheel of my old T-Bird in a hole and landed on the frame rail. Cost $120 to get a tow truck guy out of bed at 2am to get me out.

One morning on the way to work in the snow I went about fifty feet down the road sideways in the T-Bird. I wasn't going more than 5mph. I was idling out from the stop light through an intersection. Fortunately there was no traffic (I was the only idiot dedicated enough to be going to work that morning) and I managed to stay on the road and not damage my car.

Later that afternoon as I was leaving work I noticed that someone had hit my back bumper in the parking lot and scraped the paint down to the plastic...

Back in October, I was out one night and got run off the road by a drunk in pick up truck driving in the middle of the road. I felt the tire go flat immediately and thought that was the extent of the damage. Nope. Got the tire off, flipped the wheel over and saw that the inner lip of the wheel was sheared off and cracked about half way through. Not a scratch on the car, speck of dirt or blade of grass. No indication that I hit the side of the road hard enough to break a wheel. Subaru wheels ain't cheap... $400.

I am lucky that I know how to handle my car though, because that one could have been bad.